GIGI GOES GAGA

ABOUT-FACE

It's been a month since I last posted anything and, judging from my blog stats that Typepad so kindly keeps track of, people seem to think I've gone away completely. In the meantime, I've discovered a few great products and terrific songs -- but I've had no one to share them with. Which partly explains why I'm back. Raving about my newest favorite hair product on Facebook can make me seem a tad bit manic, you know?

Another thing I discovered during my absence is that the more friends I add to my Facebook list, the longer I meander and skulk around that site. Obviously, when I'm there I'm not here. At the other place, all my favorite reads, brands, and stores update me with what's hot and new without my having to click over to their own sites as well, which makes me stay there even longer. And when you consider all the photos, links, and videos that my friends share (and which I invariably explore) it's a bit of a miracle that I have any kind of offline life at all.

Sometimes the most intense and interesting conversations I engage in happen over at Facebook chat. And, yes, I've wondered why the other person and I don't simply pick up the phone and actually talk with one another. I suspect that the answer is related to why personal blogs ever became popular in the first place: sometimes it's easier to be so exposed when no one can actually see you doing any real exposing. I tend to think of Facebook chat (as well as any kind of instant messenger communication) as online frottage, or dry-humping: it feels really intimate, the excitement is there, both parties can feel pretty satisfied -- but the connection is still limited because of its very nature.

Many other bloggers I used to share space with have now abandoned their sites for the greater intimacy and immediacy of Facebook. Some of them I can call my friends now -- or at least, they're now my Facebook friends -- and I'm even familiar with how a few of them spend their days (and especially their nights). But I do miss blogging (how old-fashioned the term feels now, 'no?). I miss posting whatever I feel like on my very own space without knowing who might be lurking about -- or if anyone's even still around. Why, I think of many of the stories I've shared over here and realize that all this (relative) anonymity brings along with it so much freedom.

Please pardon my sexual references here tonight, but I suppose blogging, given my reasons for doing it, can sometimes feel like the online equivalent of a zipless fuck. I write, you (hopefully) read, but because I don't really know you're there, I'm not trying to impress or manipulate you. And hopefully, in the end, we both get something out of it.

If you're still reading this, thanks for hanging around. Hopefully, you're also taking a break from Facebook and have decided to catch up with me here instead.

FACEBOOK NOTES

I used to import my blog into my Facebook Notes but recently disabled the feature because I didn't want all my Friends to read my posts. I admit this doesn't make much sense because this blog is public and can be accessed by anyone with an internet connection. Still, because I don't go out of my way to attract blog traffic, the thought of Facebook sending notification to more than 450 people whenever I post something, whether or not they care to know, seems just a tad bit too aggressive for me. Not to mention I sometimes write about the people on my Friends list. Anonymously, of course -- but they would know if I were writing about them nonetheless.

***

And speaking of folks on my Friends list...

One of them is this guy I went out with for maybe eight months. OK, truth is that it's pretty tricky to measure precisely how long he and I were together. Or how together we really were. We were a couple, I suppose, but I can't seem to recall if we ever agreed on any kind of commitment or even on exclusivity. Did I ever tell him I loved him or did he ever do the same? I can't remember -- although probably not because I don't remember ever thinking we could be together for the long haul. He used to affectionately call me his "love muffin' -- does that count for anything? What I do remember,though, is that our contact with each other slowly dwindled until one night when he called and I was genuinely surprised that he thought we were still going out at all. And that was that.

Once in a while we write funny little messages on each other's Wall or post comments on the same photos posted by mutual Friends, and a couple of times I've checked out his Profile to see what he's up to these days. What I've discovered is that if we were a mismatch from the beginning, we are certainly even more so today. I suppose one thing about Facebook is that if you were ever in doubt as to whether or not a relationship could have worked out, you now have clear visual evidence that there's absolutely no chance it could have.

***

I recently read someone complain about receiving a ton of birthday greetings now simply because all his Friends are notified when it's anyone's birthday. I guess his beef is that the sentiment is less sincere simply because the greeter didn't have to make any extra effort to keep track of his special day. I'm perplexed -- I can't figure out what his problem is. If it weren't for the calendar features of my computer or handheld device I wouldn't remember anything at all -- especially about someone I haven't seen in years! I guess it really is true: with every new invention or innovation comes a slew of complaints from people who had to make do with less convenience prior in the first place.

As for me, I'm thrilled to be able to reconnect and catch up with people I never thought I'd see again. And now it's almost like we were never apart! Yes, even with that guy whom I can't seem to figure out if we were ever together to begin with.

GIGI GOES GAGA VISITS DOVE PHILIPPINES

As a kid I endured horrible eczema (skin asthma, my doctor called it, because I suffered from asthma, too). The red, itchy, dry patches were all over my body, especially on my legs and arms, and I'd scratch at them incessantly until my skin opened up, bled, and scarred. This happened all the time because I preferred the pain to the itch; at least the former never drove me bonkers. Mom took me to a dermatologist, who told me to use an Aveeno bath treatment during flare-ups and shower only with Dove White (with cool -- never hot -- water).

Relief turned into a lifetime of brand loyalty, so when the folks at Dove Philippines asked if I could be included, with other Filipina bloggers, on the Real Thoughts page of their online site, the answer was easy. By the way, I wasn't paid for my participation, nor did I receive any freebies in exchange. It was just something I was happy to do -- let's just say I scratched their back in return for their getting me to stop scratching mine.

POKE

Here's what I like about social networking sites: they make it easy to keep in touch and to reconnect with folks I haven't seen or spoken to in years (decades even). One of my good friends says that it's the only "legitimate" way for him to communicate with his female friends -- like me, for instance -- because his wife is the jealous type. He opines: "What's the worst that can happen, after all? Even if I poke you, it's only online?"

Well put, my friend.

But here's why I love them. As of a month ago, there were five persons I hadn't spoken to in a while. I hadn't fought with any them and there was never direct confrontation between us. There was only uncomfortable silence due to various circumstances (for instance, one was an ex-boyfriend from 20 years ago who just never transitioned back to being a friend again). Before sites like Facebook, there were only a few ways to contact someone: write, call (or text), or get in their face. All good options, but so direct -- especially if there's any discomfort involved. And since we tend not to do things that make us uneasy (or risk rejection), it's easy to let old relationships simply lie (and die).

But now I can find people and send them a short, quick message. If they reply, the stalemate is broken. If not, I know there's no interest on their side to reconnect and I can move on, knowing that I've at least tried. Or I can pretend they simply never received my message if denial makes me any happier. Today I'm communicating again with three of the five. I don't know if I'll ever be as close to any of them as we once were, but at least I know it's no longer awkward and that the lines are open again.

Even if there isn't going to be any more poking around.

JUST A FRIENDLY NOTICE

Please be aware that:

I'm online often so I have quite a few email addresses, instant messenger profiles and am also on a couple of social networking sites. But on NONE of them do I go by "gigigoesgaga." (It's just too long for me to type.) So if anyone contacts you using this name, please know that she (or he, for that matter) is not me.

If you'd like to contact me personally, I have an "Email Me" link below my photograph on the top left of this page. I am a friendly sort so I do reply back as soon as I can -- except to most solicitation messages.

DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME

I lived without a dishwasher for more than half my life, even after I had moved out on my own (unfortunately my love for old buildings with history and character meant living the same way their original tenants once did). But when I discovered the miracle of the quick-wash cycle, I was thoroughly hooked. Besotted, actually.

Now everything goes into my dishwasher. EVERYTHING. Internal parts of my toaster oven, tire rims hubcaps*, hard plastic hairbrushes and combs -- if I think something can withstand being poured on and agitated by hot water, in it goes with my pots and pans.

So I'll admit I thought about sticking my Mac keyboard on the top tray with the other more delicate stuff; after all, it must be one tough sucker if it's managed to survive all these years despite the daily abuse it receives from my incessant, unforgiving pounding. My husband, who knows better (and not only because he's a computer geek), also knows what I'm capable of if I'm not stopped before my brain commands my hands to move. Still, he kept his calm, took a breath, and remarked flatly: "Umm...components?"

Which is why this NPR piece by Nell Boyce had me cracking up this morning (even if I was laughing mostly from shame). It turns out I'm not alone, after all. (Suggestion: click on "listen" below the title. It's so much funnier when you hear her tell her story.)

Studies show that computer keyboards have more bacteria than toilet seats. But it's hard to clean all those keys. So some people advocate an extreme solution: Throw your keyboard in your dishwasher.

At first glance, this seems insane. But the computer-keyboard-in-the-dishwasher advice is all over the Internet. And don't we wish it were true? My keyboard is an old Hewlett Packard that's encrusted with a kind of mysterious black grime. I thought, "Well, why not try my KitchenAid?'"

I ran the experiment one night. I put the keyboard on the top rack, cord and all, key-side down. I used a little soap, and hit "normal wash." (I didn't want to pots 'n' pans it.)

Read (or listen to) the rest of her story here.

*What can I say, I don't know my tire rims from my hubcaps. To me, what go in the dishwasher are the "thingamajigs that cover the wheel."

THE SKINNY ON EMAILS

I can best be reached by email. I rarely pick up my landline phone because of telemarketers, usually forget to charge my cell phone so it's often dead, and almost never pick up the phone at work because it's too distracting. And even if I have quite a few email accounts (one at work, one I use for online stuff, the one I have linked here for blog friends and readers to reach me, and another only for close friends and family -- to name only a few), there's still a better chance of reaching me through my computer than any other way, including showing up at my doorstep.

Because I'm so dependent on email communication I have to remember its many dangers -- especially the one about where once you click to send your message, it's out there -- possibly forever -- perhaps being read by someone it wasn't intended for. You could have typed too quickly and sent it to everyone in your mailing list or to the person that first came up thanks to the convenience of auto-fill. Or maybe your message is being forwarded without your knowledge or even posted on a blog or website without your consent.

This story broke today and serves as a cautionary message about being careful whom -- and what -- you email.

May 1, 2007 -- FOXY Philadelphia TV reporter Alycia Lane is in hot water after a series of private e-mails and saucy snapshots she sent to handsome NFL Network anchorman Rich Eisen were intercepted by his wife.

The story continues. I've got to say, I already love this man's wife.

A seething (Suzy Shuster Eisen) wrote: "Boy, do you look amazing in a bikini . . . congrats! Whatever you're doing, (Pilates? yoga?) keep doing it - it's working for you. Anyway, sorry but those seven e-mails you sent to my husband, Rich, well, oops, they came to the e-mail address we both use from time to time, but no worries, I'll forward the beach shots as well as the ones of you dancing with your friends on to his main address. Do you have it?"

She then provides her hubby's private e-mail, "since you surely are trying so hard to get his attention. I mean, what better way to get a guy's attention than with skin! Best - Suzy Shuster Eisen"

I'd tell all my male friends and acquaintances not to worry -- there are no photos of myself in a bikini that exist -- but I fear that even if there were and I was foolish enough to email them, their wives would only feel sorry for me anyway. Rest easy everyone.

NEW TED.COM IS UP!

I absolutely love this site. I'm hooked on educational shows and documentaries to begin with (which is the reason I have to pay more for digital cable TV, alas), so it's not surprising that I've been gleefully clicking around here, finding something new to learn. I'm not saying I believe everything that "experts" claim to be true, but I do believe the world would be better off if we listened to each other more and if we paid attention to other points of view. I suppose you can say I'm more into dialogue than debate.

Anyway, if you've never heard of the annual, by-invitation-only TED Conference before, here's a bit of background:

TED is an invitation-only event where the world’s leading thinkers and doers gather for inspiration and insight. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design—three broad subject areas that are, collectively, shaping our future. In fact, the event is broader still, showcasing ideas that matter in any discipline. Attendees have called it “The ultimate brain spa” and “A four-day journey into the future.” The audience—CEOs, financiers, inventors, intellectuals—is almost as extraordinary as the speakers, who have included Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, Jane Goodall, Quincy Jones, Frank Gehry, Paul Simon, Philippe Starck and Bono.

Each year, TED features 50 of the world’s most fascinating people. TED presenters run the world’s most admired companies and design its best-loved products; they invent world-changing devices and write best-selling books. They are trusted voices and convention-breaking mavericks, icons and geniuses. Collectively, they have won every major prize awarded for excellence, including the Nobel, Pritzker, Pulitzer, Oscar, Grammy, Emmy, Tony and MacArthur "genius” grant. TED was first held in Monterey, CA, in 1984. In 2001, Chris Anderson’s Sapling Foundation acquired TED from its founder, Richard Saul Wurman.

Although there are more visually exciting videos to view (you've just got to see Susan Savage-Rumbaugh's presentation on apes that write, start fires, and play Pacman), catch psychologist Daniel Gilbert's talk on happiness (why are and aren't we happy?), which I enjoyed especially because I've been reading his wonderful and quite amusing book Stumbling On Happiness.

Let me know if you find any favorites -- I certainly have quite a few of my own. Enjoy!

BLOG-O-RAMA FEATURE

I checked out my Statistics and Referrers page just a short while ago and noticed the Google Bot has been busier than usual in bringing guests over tonight. There could only be one reason, I thought -- and I was right*.

Thanks for the write-up Annalyn AKA Ajay! While you're off trekking somewhere out in Banaue or thereabouts (are you back yet?), I've been having a bit of excitement here, too, as a result of our fun email chat earlier this week.

PS: For those of you who are here because of the Blog-O-Rama feature, here's Batjay and Torn and Frayed, whom I mentioned. You probably knew who they were, anyway; they were among the first blogs I got hooked on, and are probably a couple of your favorites, too.

*UPDATED MAY 28, 2006. A friend kindly emailed to tell me the link to Annalyn's feature no longer works. Below is a transcript of her May 22, 2006 column. I included links that were not in the online version of the Manila Bulletin.

'GIGI GOES GAGA:' SO GOOD

BY ANNALYN S. JUSAY (NOW BLOGGING AT WWW.ANNALYN.NET)

A visit to her blog would tell you that this is some hip woman's turf. You have not even browsed through her engaging posts yet and your eyes wander to the stuff in her site's side panels which contain her own little notes on music, perfumes and a host of beauty products. On the other hand, reading her main blog is quite a different experience altogether. There's both depth, introspection and an easygoing quality in her writing which are the hallmark of a true storyteller and writer (which she was, in the past). There's something about her narratives which you can relate to if you happen to have undergone similar life-changing experiences and continue to ponder about your own sphere of human relationships. Transcripts of our email talk with Gigi Santos-Castaneda who is based in sunny South Orange County California:

Q. When did you start blogging? What compelled you?

A. I knew almost nothing about the blogging world; it really wasn't on my radar. But I had two friends who started up a joint blog devoted to their love - so sweet but the cheesiest thing I'd ever seen, quite frankly -- and it got me thinking if they could do this, so could I. And so I just dove into blogging without a clue and never looked back. At that point I was dying to start writing again -- I wasn't thinking about money or getting published but I wanted to connect with other people and hopefully get a bit of feedback.

Q. What do you think is the best thing about blogging? What do you like about it?

A. Blogging allows me to write freely. Unlike writing for a publication where I'm constantly editing myself, I can just start writing and see where it takes me. I'd say 90% of the time all I have is a one-sentence idea or thought, and I don't know how I'm going to develop or end it while I'm banging it out on my Mac. And I've also become a junkie for the feedback -- I love comments because they instantly tell me if I've gotten my point across and also because I've met the most terrific and supportive people that way.

Q. Why the title "Gigi Goes Gaga?"

A. Right after ex-husband and I decided to split, all I could think about was trying to pull my life back together. So I was looking for a job, finding a new place to live, checking out moving companies, etc. I had kept myself isolated from family and friends because I needed some personal head space.

Finally just to let them know I was OK and dealing with things, I put together a little newsletter with my stories and emailed it out to anyone who had asked how I was doing. It was written with a lot of lightness and humor -- which was the farthest thing from how I probably should have been feeling considering I was starting over with practically nothing. I named it "Gigi Goes Gaga" because I was thinking that perhaps I was just going insane.

When I decided to try my hand at blogging, I knew instantly what I was going to name my blog -- it was like closing the circle.

Q. What made you start a beauty blog too? How does someone like you find the time?

A. I was just mulling over this the other night: why did I ever start this? I have no time for almost anything, as it is. I originally conceptualized "Beauty Jones" to be like an extended sideblog or where I could go on length about my insane obsessions. I didn't really put that much time and effort initially into it, and neither did I want to. I just wanted an outlet for my interests in beauty and fashion, since in my fantasy world I'm a beauty or fashion editor for a magazine. Then I realized people were finding it -- even folks who'd never seen or read my main blog -- and now I find myself slowly working on it to give it a bit of an identity. Really slowly. But I write and type fast, though, fortunately.

Q.What can you say about Typepad as a publishing platform? What do you like about it?

A. I used Blogspot (all of you know, by the way, I meant Blogger, right? Sorry, mea culpa.) at first -- which was perfect for someone completely clueless about web publishing like I was (and still am), but also for one who's not quite sure about this entire blogging business. But I knew I wanted to create sideblogs for music and other stuff I'm into and I couldn't figure out how to do that. I soon found Typepad, which has a feature called "TypeLists" that allows me to do this almost effortlessly. I love Typepad; I feel like I'm growing along with it. Since I signed up I've learned how to tweak things a bit so I don't have to depend 100% on their templates. In a nutshell, because of its features and ease of use I can focus almost solely on content.

Q. In your own opinion, what do you think are the important things that should comprise a blog?

A. Yikes, I might be the wrong person to answer this because I got into blogging not knowing anything about it at all. I'll tell you, though, what the common thread is in all the blogs I read regularly: original content. It could be information or opinion or even just be an expression of a blogger's unique personality (like my neighbor, Batjay, who's freakin' hilarious). I love meeting people, period, and my personal opinion is that the best blogs give me that feeling of finding and discovering the persons behind them (and this is even true of my favorite business blogs, by the way).

Q. Do you have any favorite posts?

A. The ones that pop to mind this instant are "On Leaving and Living" (about how I decided to file for divorce), "Nice Girl" (because I think it neatly sums up a large part of who I am), and "Intermezzo" (about a short-lived relationship that really changed me). I've written about 209 posts to date so I'm sure I have some favorites I just can't think of right now.

Q. Your online/blogging habits.

A. I wish I had some good ones; my goal is to become a much more disciplined writer. Usually what happens is I'm sitting in front of my computer checking email or listening to music or netsurfing and then I'm hit with a thought or emotion. Then I start writing. Next thing I know I'm clicking the "Publish" button.

Q. Though some say that posts should be of a certain length, yours can sometimes be introspective and long. Obviously you don't like to be bound by blogging rules...

A. I did this at first out of ignorance rather than chutzpah. In fact, after my first few posts, Torn and Frayed (whom I constantly refer to as my "blogfather") suggested I try to keep my posts short so as to keep reader interest. But see, I just wanted to write -- and I also didn't have time to edit myself afterwards for grammar, much less brevity. I have noticed my posts are getting shorter on the average -- but I think it has to do more with lack of time and energy than trying to conform with certain rules and guidelines. Or maybe the trained journalist in me is finally kicking in.

Q. How do you detail the Filipino-American (or Filipino's American) experience in your blog?

A. I'm a Filipina in America so all my stories have an element of that reality, whether clearly apparent or not. I've written about what it was like for me to come here and adjust and evolve, but there's so much more to write about -- I've barely touched the surface.

Q. Plans for your blog?

A. There are other stories and topics I want to tackle but I don't feel I'm quite ready yet; I still need to develop more as a writer. For instance, there was a period in my life here that I was out of (immigration) status because I was in-between one form and another. And that was truly a struggle; it was extremely tough because suddenly I found myself with few options. I had been an activist fighting for Asian American Studies and various Filipino-American causes -- I was passionately involved in making our mark here in America, to show we belonged and that we earned our right to be here.

Then all of a sudden I'm at this non-place where I'm neither here nor there, where one could argue I didn't belong and that I wasn't supposed to be here even if I continued to pay my taxes and never used or took advantage of social programs and benefits. And so I had to disappear -- become an invisible Filipino -- which was EXACTLY the thing I was fighting against, because our people should never be unheard or unseen. So maybe I'll get to tell this story sometime between now and my next 200 posts. Otherwise I really don't have a solid plan; I'm not a pundit and I don't have a political, religious, or social agenda either. I just believe in staying optimistic and choosing to be a positive force wherever I am. I suppose that's what my blog is about, too.

GUYS IN GOOGLELAND

Ala had me cracking up just now. You know how you do something you can't tell anybody else about and then someone else admits to it first; suddenly all your shame and embarrassment rises and surfaces to the top, and you realize it wasn't so bad after all if someone else was doing it too. Or at least, if that someone was sane and smart -- like Ala definitely is.

Her January 10th post discusses her adventures in googling; in particular, the kind where you google yourself, your friends, enemies, acquaintances, crushes, boyfriends, girlfriends, exes, potential business partners -- just about anybody and everybody who did or will or will never ever cross your path.

Okay, I'll confess now that I google myself from time to time (not often or even regularly, mind you). The interesting thing is I only find myself in Googleland when I search under my maiden name; I'm non-existent, apparently, under my new (married) name.

And as time goes on, I only seem to disappear. About two years ago, I found myself, among other places, quoted on marketing/ promotional materials for my alma mater, listed in a table of contents for a 1997 issue of Filipinas Magazine, and was (disturbingly) pronounced "missing" on my other alma mater's website. Today, aside from anything blog-related, I find only more and more homonymous references and less and less of myself.

So inspired by Ala's confessions I conducted an experiment and googled a few exes this afternoon (you all didn't think I'd start with another kind of group, like my former teachers or neighbors now, did you? ). I've learned the following thus far:

1. My first boyfriend is now a (rich and) famous hair restoration surgeon. He still has a head full of hair (all natural, I believe; he was always follicularly fortuitous), although he keeps it salt-and-pepperish because he says that with his boyish looks, potential patients are reluctant to trust him with their heads.

2. The first guy who had me under his ultra-controlling spell seems to have mysteriously disappeared (beyond his control? I wonder). He used to be head honcho for a music/entertainment conglomerate, but now inhabits the ever-encroaching world of gaming. The most recent sighting of him is at the blog of one of his former employees, a recent college graduate who appears to thinks he's beyond amazing (as I once did).

3. The first man I cried over has also fallen off the radar. Older entries mention he was the owner/president of a huge multimedia production company (which I suspect he still is -- unless he decided to retire quite young, which I highly doubt because he always has to be doing something). Everything I read about J only confirms my belief that he truly is one of the genuinely good guys. Despite the tears, heartbreak, and everything.

4. The first boy I broke up with because he wouldn't stop cheating on me ran for political office and lost. Twice already, I think. But if you think divine justice or karma won the day, let me add E married a beautiful woman and owns several successful businesses. Be warned: it's just a matter of time, peeples. He'll be baa-ack.

5. The first (and only) guy I kept up a sustained but oh-so-very-secret relationship with seems to succeed at everything he does. Every(damn)thing. The dude is always in the papers somehow, and has the most number of Google pages of anyone I personally know. My only comment is this guy is also the most relentless man I've met, so I'm never surprised at what he can do and does.

And, yes, I googled other firsts (and seconds and thirds...) and discovered a myriad of fascinating facts. Thankfully, not one seems to have turned out to be, say, a rapist or child molester. But with each "investigation" I conducted, one google entry after another, I concluded that no matter how successful or accomplished they may be, it's best they're all in my past now. I love my life the way it is -- and I wouldn't be here if I were with any of them.

I suppose when you google your past, you find out something about your present, too. I may not need a search engine to tell me that mine's mighty fine -- that everything turned out the way it was supposed to -- but if I'm ever in doubt, I may just be headed back to Googleland.

SECOND TERM

The Spiridellis Brothers of Jib Jab Media have done it again. The Web digital animation company, already famous for its parody of the Bush and Kerry presidential campaigns in "This Land," just released "Second Term." This latest cartoon  (which the animators describe as not mean spirited, but instead pokes fun at all sides of the political spectrum -- Republican and Democrat, liberal and conservative) is just in time for the 55th presidential inauguration on Thursday, January 20.

Click to watch here. If you have some time, check out "Capital Ill" and "Good To Be in D.C." Very funny stuff indeed.