over all things related to fashion and beauty, that is.
When I was growing up, I was never what you'd describe as conventionally pretty. Round face, full lips (before girls like Angelina made them a good thing to have), thick and coarse hair, big bones. Then while already suffering from teen angst, I got a face half-full of ugly, metal braces to boot.
When boys called me, it was only because they wanted to get on my good side so that my strikingly pretty bestfriend would give them the time of day. The only physical asset I had going for me then was something I was self-conscious about and only wanted to hide. (OK, fine, we're talking about my boobs here.) And today, they're still not something I could reveal like, say, long, slim legs (which I don't have, incidentally).
And even when the braces came off, after my hair straightened out miraculously, and I grew into my face, I still felt like I had to try a bit harder. I just couldn't forget the cruel jokes and mean comments; like of the prom date who wished he were with someone else or the popular boy and his friends in the party who made fun of my poofy hair or the girls who didn't want to pick me for their teams because I was too fat.
While I've always been a bit too lazy (and proud) to try too hard -- I've never been a gym rat and I don't spend hours getting ready every day -- still I pay attention.
I take care of my skin and my hair, I'm aware of trends in fashion and beauty, and I smell good. I'll never be the prettiest girl in the room -- which I don't aspire to be anyway -- but I'm confident that I can hold my own in any conversation and with almost any crowd. There's something about feeling put together that boosts confidence like no other; it makes me stand a little bit taller and straighter.
So you can imagine why I believe in the transformative power of beauty and fashion. I love it when friends ask me to go shopping with them to find the right bra or trousers, or when they ask me to do their makeup for a night out. It would be a dream to be able to do this for a living -- except that I'd be too happy to want to charge anyone, and that wouldn't do me any good.
But it's also why I sometimes cry when I watch certain "makeover" shows like this or this. I know what it's like to see the difference -- and then feel it.
I don't believe that women should conform to any commonly accepted standard of beauty and I think that what's more important is that we should feel good about ourselves. But also, I think it wouldn''t hurt to find a pair of jeans that really fits or a shade of lipstick that brighens up your entire face. Unless you already have, don't knock it; just try it. And see if it doesn't add a bit of a zip to your step.
If I had known you in your late teens, I would be stalking you like you wouldn't believe. That photo is adorable!
Posted by: John R. | November 20, 2008 at 11:12 AM
Hey John R.!!! Where have you been?
PS: And don't think I don't remember what YOU used to do when you were in your late teens -- scary! LOL...
Posted by: Gigi | November 21, 2008 at 07:07 PM
You are pretty, GiGi, what a great 'tranformation', you look different in all the three photos.
I can remember the 2nd, hair spray super-hold days?
Posted by: K | November 22, 2008 at 08:06 AM
I know what you mean about striking the balance about being happy with yourself as is while also using products and clothes to look your best. Gigi, I wish you could come be my personal shopper and beauty expert! I'll try to learn from your blog.
Posted by: Melissa | December 05, 2008 at 07:45 AM
K - My hairspray days peaked in 1989, I think. Very scary. I must have cast long shadows behind me then, hahaha!
Melissa - Aw thanks Melissa! I suppose my personal experience tells me that I've achieved balance when I really feel happy with myself, and find joy expressing that. It's not about trying to impress someone or being afraid of making the "wrong" statement. It's about making the outside reflect on how you feel on the inside.
Posted by: Gigi | December 08, 2008 at 10:50 PM
Like you, I do have a problem with self-esteem . Mine was worst, people call me "negrita and babalu" when I was a kid and until it my mid 20's. Then after that, I developed a sense of self-esteem regardless of how I look like. I wrote a post in my blog;
http://fliploveusa.typepad.com/a_filipino_immigrants_lov/2008/07/like-superman-b.html
Posted by: Bingkee | January 03, 2009 at 07:58 AM