I received a phone call today from a mother who wanted to tell me what a perfect fit her (adult) son is for an open job position at my company. It's a good thing I'm not the hiring manager -- though I was dying to give her a bit of advice, which I'll post here instead.
Attention All Parents: Do NOT -- despite your good intentions -- call a prospective employer to vouch for your child's qualifications, attitude, and/or work ethic. We already know you think the world of him or her. We'd prefer, however, to hear about this from the candidate's former employer (and definitely not from someone whose egg or sperm had something to do with this child being born).
And -- please -- do not call employers directly to find out if they are hiring because your child is interested in applying. I used to get these calls often when I was still a retail manager. Let me tell you, this only serves as a giant red flag -- not only because it shows that you're more desperate about your son or daughter being unemployed, but more importantly that your child is not yet ready to be a professional, to take initiative, and make decisions. I used to say: if we hire someone whose parent got involved in the beginning, we will be dealing with the same parent through the end. Employers are not babysitters who pay to take care of your child, after all.
(And, yes, I will admit that I'd engage the meddling parent in casual, friendly conversation to get the name of the prospective applicant -- parents love to talk about their children, even to the latter's detriment unfortunately. You can bet that name was never on my payroll afterwards.)
So now that school's out and your children are looking for jobs -- either for the summer or post-graduation -- encourage them, share your job hunting strategies and techniques, review their resumes, drive them to their interview if you must, but do NOT get more deeply involved than that. You will not be doing them any favors, trust me on this. No one wants to deal with a stage parent after all. And more importantly, if you want your children to be responsible and independent, then you have to trust that you raised them to be so -- and then let them go. You'd probably feel more proud of them when they bring home their first paycheck, and rightly so.
Attention All Parents: Do NOT -- despite your good intentions -- call a prospective employer to vouch for your child's qualifications, attitude, and/or work ethic. We already know you think the world of him or her. We'd prefer, however, to hear about this from the candidate's former employer (and definitely not from someone whose egg or sperm had something to do with this child being born).
And -- please -- do not call employers directly to find out if they are hiring because your child is interested in applying. I used to get these calls often when I was still a retail manager. Let me tell you, this only serves as a giant red flag -- not only because it shows that you're more desperate about your son or daughter being unemployed, but more importantly that your child is not yet ready to be a professional, to take initiative, and make decisions. I used to say: if we hire someone whose parent got involved in the beginning, we will be dealing with the same parent through the end. Employers are not babysitters who pay to take care of your child, after all.
(And, yes, I will admit that I'd engage the meddling parent in casual, friendly conversation to get the name of the prospective applicant -- parents love to talk about their children, even to the latter's detriment unfortunately. You can bet that name was never on my payroll afterwards.)
So now that school's out and your children are looking for jobs -- either for the summer or post-graduation -- encourage them, share your job hunting strategies and techniques, review their resumes, drive them to their interview if you must, but do NOT get more deeply involved than that. You will not be doing them any favors, trust me on this. No one wants to deal with a stage parent after all. And more importantly, if you want your children to be responsible and independent, then you have to trust that you raised them to be so -- and then let them go. You'd probably feel more proud of them when they bring home their first paycheck, and rightly so.
well, i have had mothers who did the following:
1. call and say that their daughter is interested in working with the company; 2. interviewed me to find out what benefits the company was offering and compared it to the benefits they had at her company;
3.who sat with their daughter waiting to be interviewed (i had seen boyfriends waiting too)
the worst was having a boyfriend question our hr mgr for not hiring his girlfriend
Posted by: buns | May 27, 2008 at 06:30 PM
Hi Gigi! This hit home. I've always wanted to help my daughter as soon as she got out of college but she wanted to do everything on her own. Told you she's smarter than me. Hope to see you sometime soon!
Posted by: Yey | June 14, 2008 at 01:03 AM
Buns - Eeeek, I don't know what I'd say if I took any of those calls!
Yey - Thank heavens for your smart(er) daughter!!! I guess it would be really easy to want to help -- a phone call here or there wouldn't seem to hurt after all.Good for her! Hey, I've been thinking about you so we have to get together soon, OK?
Posted by: Gigi | June 17, 2008 at 04:21 PM