The gal who was processing my return at Saks today was young and cute. Makeup in place, hair nicely styled, outfit quietly hip. So it surprised me when one of her co-workers walked by and commented after greeting her chirpily, "Oh -- and you look good today!" As if looking good was more of an exception rather than the rule for this young, cute thing.
She must have sensed my invisible raised eyebrow because, without looking up at me from the register, she explained, "My ex's new girlfriend was in here yesterday and I looked really awful. You know, it was early in the morning, the day after Christmas..."
"Ahh," I think I gave a sigh of relief. "And I was beginning to think people were pretty catty around here."
Cute, young thing giggled. "So now I will NEVER look terrible. You just never know who's going to see you when you look your absolute worst."
Oh I know this too well, trust me. My first boyfriend, the one my life once revolved around, who cheated on me until I finally caught him (actually, a mutual friend confessed out of guilt), has seen me only twice since he married someone else -- and both times I wished the floor would fall underneath me, and then me through the gaping hole left behind. For some inexplicable reason -- karma not being it, I'm certain -- he walked into the store I happened to be working at when I had scheduled myself to reorganize the stockroom. Both days, by the way, were almost a decade apart since he lives thousands of miles away and so he can't possibly think that my appearance each time was merely a fluke.
On both days that this guy who once broke my heart saw me, I was in full grunge mode: no makeup, hair pulled away from my face, and completely covered in sweat, dust, and grime. Not the way you'd wish to look when you want an ex to see you and then regret ever losing you. Especially when you know that if he arrived on any other day you would have been dressed in a sharp black skirt suit, heels, and matte lipstick (Victoria's Secret circa 1990) or in trendy, feminine bohemian chic (Anthropologie, 1999).
So now I'm thinking and panicking: stockroom-ready is how I look practically every day at work now. Sometimes I'm tempted to wear a platform wedge or cropped cashmere cardigan just to update my severely utilitarian look but neither would survive an hour into my workday. Simply put, the only way I could go from work straight to a party is to change my entire outfit in the car en route. Despite what all the fashion magazines suggest, simply slipping on a pair of sexy heels or changing purses to switch from a Day to Evening look would only make me appear like I got caught between time zones.
Which is why I'm half-expecting my ex to show up any day now. But this time I think I'll be ready. My bestfriend Rosanna always says that when you give folks a wide, bright, happy smile when you enter a room, they're too dazzled to notice anything else. Well, I'll be smiling at him so widely, brightly, and happily that he'll either be too distracted to notice how I look -- or think I just really love doing stockwork. But either way it goes, he'll probably notice that I'm happy without him.
(And, yes, I was being catty just now.)
Hi Gigi!
That's funny! The pleasures of following your calling!
You should see me now, driving my rickety pick-up in worn out jeans, as I pick up "organic inputs", (you know what I mean) or sometimes deliver to the wet market.
So it's not just "what if the ex sees me? " . It's pretty much " what if anyone sees me - ha ha!
Hope your Christmas season has been great. Have a wonderful year ahead.
Posted by: Gej | December 29, 2007 at 03:30 AM
I think every girl should imagine bumping into her ex before leaving home -- even Nora Ephron does this to force herself to apply eyeliner.
Gigi - I love the ending. It's true, it'll only show how happy you are to be rid of him! And he'll finally notice that you're braces have long been gone.
Rsna
Posted by: Besfren | January 01, 2008 at 10:11 AM
I still believe in the intrinsic beauty of a person. even without make-ups. =) Belated happy holidays gigi! =)
Posted by: pao | January 04, 2008 at 06:19 PM
I think, showing him how happy I am without him is more of a sweet revenge than being all dolled up and yet there's a frown on my face.
Posted by: evi | January 05, 2008 at 11:59 AM
Gej - What if anyone sees you? Ha, no matter what, guapo ka pa rin! OK nga ang "rugged look" ah -- para kang Marlboro Man! :)
RSNA - I'm telling you, that "bright smile" advice your mom passed on to you works wonders!
Pao - True, it's what's on the inside that counts -- pero to tell you the truth, it's nice to have the outside match the inside...at least once in a while. :)
Evi - The first time I bumped into my ex, he had to rub it in and say I should be married because he was and he was very happy (grrr). The second time he said I'd better start a family because of my biological clock, etc. (GRRRR talaga!). So it's no wonder I found it so difficult to smile both times! I have no idea what he'd say if I ever bumped into him again, but whatever it is, I promise that he will be blinded by the whites of my teeth. :)
Posted by: Gigi | January 05, 2008 at 11:09 PM
I've noticed that I actually get more looks from guys when I'm in utilitarian mode - no makeup, hair pulled back, jeans, t-shirt - than when I'm feeling Glamazon. But you're right - the most important thing is a smile and a sunny aura. I think I transmit ugly vibes when I'm grumpy, because everyone stears clear. :)
Posted by: Iggy | January 08, 2008 at 09:17 PM
Iggy - Stunning ka naman, whether you're dolled up or not. But I know what you're saying -- siguro we just tend to look more approachable when we look more...natural...di ba?
Posted by: Gigi | January 10, 2008 at 11:54 PM