Just got a bit of horribly bad news that I can't share. Of course it had to happen this week, which hasn't been -- well, let's just say it hasn't been the best ever. I don't want to sound like I've turned into Bad-luck Schleprock so I'll sum this all up and say there's been (physical) pain, nonstop bouts of high fever, and a very uncomfortable medical procedure involved. And now the bad news.
Once in a while I get the bout of the blues so bad I don't want to get out of bed. But eventually I do because I know if I don't things won't ever get better. So I tell myself that many other people have it worse or are struggling with life-or-death type of situations. Which I'm not (or at least I don't think so). I doubt this helps put me in a more positive frame of mind since I don't like to dwell on any kind of suffering but -- what can I say -- it's Catholic guilt permanently ingrained in my fiber. I'm one of those people who can't win without thinking of the one who lost. And so when I'm feeling sad, as I am now, I know somewhere out there is someone who's feeling much worse.
There was a time I was prescribed a cocktail of anti-depressants. I've got to admit the medication took the edge off and I became functional once again. But there was a part of me that needed to know I still had my coping skills so I did what NO ONE should ever do (seriously, this is dangerous stuff); I got off my meds cold turkey and for a period of time I wondered if I was going insane. But that passed, thankfully.
So now I just cope the best I can, and keep reminding myself it's the bad times that make me truly appreciate the good times. And, for me at least, the good times always return, even if I have to dig through the mess and hunt for that positive spin that can turn everything around. Because really, if there's something I've learned all these years it's that perception is a very powerful thing; it can truly make all the difference.
Excuse me for a bit while I go back to bed. To read, that is. Hopefully I'll return rejuvenated and inspired, and in a much happier place. But as I always say, happiness is a commitment we make; I'll just have to keep the faith, put in a bit of time and effort, and I'll get there. Like everything else in life that truly matters, it doesn't always come easy but it's always worth the struggle. See you guys soon.
I got off my meds cold turkey last year - it was ok. I did fine. I was already exercising then though, so maybe that had something to do with it.
Posted by: aurea | September 11, 2006 at 09:52 AM
"..happiness is a commitment we make; I'll just have to keep the faith, put in a bit of time and effort, and I'll get there."
i too need to have that faith now. haven't been feeling my best of late. and thanks for reminding me this.
hope you'll feel better soon. and hopefully me too...
take care.
Posted by: amaranthine | September 11, 2006 at 07:19 PM
Take care, Gigi.
Posted by: John | September 12, 2006 at 05:03 PM
Aurea - Exercise really helps! I also cut down sugar, to eliminate all those highs and lows. I guess that was good practice, since I had to cut that out of my diet eventually anyway.:(
Amaranthine - Here's a big hug from me to you!
John - Hey, where have you been??? Still traveling a lot?
Posted by: Gigi | September 12, 2006 at 08:34 PM
VERY COOL BLOG! love it!
check this out:
http://nostalgiamanila.blogspot.com/
maraming salamat!
Posted by: orion quest | September 13, 2006 at 11:56 AM
Hi Gi! It's been a while... I haven't been into bloghopping lately.
Get some rest. Hope you'll be A-ok soon. Take care!
xxx
Posted by: Joy | September 13, 2006 at 12:12 PM
And this too shall pass!Watch this video,this might ease you a bit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2vyYHFO7jg
You take care Gigi! *hugs*
Posted by: cheH | September 14, 2006 at 12:22 AM
Hi Gigi, yes it's hard to imagine that this will pass but they always do. Take solace in having Boo around. And nice books to read.. and a nice husband (even if I never met him). Hope you feel better soon!
Posted by: Chiqui | September 14, 2006 at 06:52 PM
Orion Quest - thanks!
Joy - Yes, it has been a while since I last "saw" you. I'm so glad you stopped by, and thanks for the warm words. :)
cheH - I haven't seen this video in YEARS, but I now remember why I liked it the first time I saw it. Perfect -- thanks!
Chiqui - I'm home resting (dr's orders) and Boo hasn't left my side (though she's been on the whiny, needy side for some reason). And although I'm still working from home, I've also been able to catch up on my reading (so very therapeutic). And the husband has been terrific -- no -- amazing! I am indeed very, very lucky. Thanks for the support, as always. :)
Posted by: Gigi | September 14, 2006 at 08:37 PM
Whatever it is, I hope that soon it will pass too. Take care!
Posted by: Jovs | September 15, 2006 at 02:41 AM