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GAGA GAZETTEER

  • ADVENTURES WITH A (DYING) DOG

    1.21.15-I-Took-My-Dying-Dog-on-a-Bucket-List-Adventure1-590x442

    This one made me weepy this morning. Girl finds out her bestfriend and roommate -- a 160-lb English Mastiff has terminal bone cancer and only has a few months to live. So armed with a bucket list of adventures she would like to share with her dog, they go off on canoe rides, road trips, visits to both busy spots and quiet spaces and, finally, spend a last day together by the ocean in Maine, where she finally finds peace and acceptance. This is real love, people.
  • THE HEALING POWERS OF KEEPING A JOURNAL

    N-JOURNALING-large570

    I still keep a journal despite having a blog. No matter how spill-all-my-guts-out open I may seem, there are many things I do and think that I'll just never tell. I've always thought it kept me sane to be able to express myself without fear of being censored or criticized. Whenever I pick up an old journal, even one from my 13-year-old self I realize that as much as I've changed so much is still the same. I just know how to dodge bullets faster and better. From: HUFFPOST Healthy Living, 01/20/15
  • WRITING YOUR WAY TO HAPPINESS

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    Which is why I've decided to keep this blog around, at least for a little while longer. I've always picked up a pen (or sat in front of a keyboard) any time I needed to make sense of my world; writing allows me to get into my head and get all my thoughts out without having to worry about how ridiculous I sound (that's where the editing comes in). From: The New York Times, 01/19/15
  • HOW TO BECOME A WRITER
    This was lovely. The post is by a novelist who was asked how to encourage a young writer. It sounds eerily like the story of my life -- now all I need is to keep reading and keep writing (and, okay, start submitting). From: M Molly Backes' blog, 07/12/11
  • THE "PERFECT" FEMALE BODY

    Greatist_body

    Every day at work I see all kinds of female bodies: athletic, boyish, curvy, voluptuous, natural, enhanced, preteen, post-baby, postmenopausal -- thousands of different bodies I've seen up close and personal in my lifetime. This infographic shows that the description of the ideal female body changes every decade or so, going back hundreds of years. I hope that soon we define the "perfect" body as one that is simply healthy and functioning; that what matters is that we're comfortable in our own skin. From: Greatist, 01/15/15

GOODREADS

  • READING NOW

    Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet
    The Normal Bar: Where Does Your Relationship Fall?
    All is Forgotten, Nothing is Lost
    Gun Dealers' Daughter: A Novel: A Novel
    Crazy Rich Asians
    The Undomestic Goddess
    Self-Help
    The Geography of Bliss: One Grump's Search for the Happiest Places in the World


    Gigi's favorite books »
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« STORY | Main | WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE PINAY IN CALIFORNIA »

August 06, 2006

Comments

Sandra

We are totally in agreement on this one. People seem to think love is like a Harlequin (remember those?) romance or something. All heaving chests and torn bodices...True love is not hormones + similar interests. It's who wakes up to take care of the baby or who makes you chicken noodle soup when you look like crap and are near death... that to me is REAL love. I've been tempted, but I'd never succumb because I know what I'd be trading in and what I'd get in return. Not worth it...

Gigi

I couldn't have said it better, Sandra. Drama is exciting and seductive, but people forget there's always an ending and then it's back to reality all over again.

duke

as "gasgas" as it may sound, I still believe that love is a decision and not just a feeling.
Cheers!

R

It is wrong to assume that we only have one possible soul mate in a lifetime. We have many possible soulmates, many permutations. Therefore, I think the socially accepted model of commiting to a life with one partner is not only erroneous but a disservice to the human soul. To die with a smile on your face, you should be able to remember 4 to 6 committed relationships and leave a wonderful legacy to the people that you have touched.

Gigi

Hi Duke - "Gasgas"? :) But I do agree with you: love is a commitment (which is a type of decision), for sure.

Hey R - If I look back on my life I can probably think of two men whose souls truly, truly connected with mine (and obviously vice-versa). But everyone has a different definition of the term "soulmate" (or even of "love", for that matter), if they even choose to believe it exists. I think the key, though, is not to impose any restrictions on how we connect to people, since that's part of the reason why we're all here anyway.I think I posted something about this before -- that there are people who continue to touch my life today (whether or not they are still part of my life) simply because they touched a part of how I think or what I do, and that still lives with me today.

delish

when I decided to get married, and after setting the date... I embarked on a daily grilling of my motives for getting married, and if i was sure, and if i was ready to throw everything about being single away...

i still sort of do that... constantly asking myself things that would probably confuse someone else...

see... i know what i said YES to, when i entered marriage... i think most couples don't when they do, so when something comes along, no matter how superficial or too good to be true, they turn their back on their commitments...

i've heard of a lot of stories of people who picked up the pieces of their life after a partner's betrayal... who ended up finding happiness and love again...

i'm just not quite sure about those who purposefully ruined relationships though...

bing

i think every woman (not only men) experiences being tempted. it's just like we all have to undergo the process before it's complete. you are very right to say that one should think of the consequences. it's just not the feeling, and sometimes we are mistaken about the feeling. there is a thin line between love and lust.

Madmuse

I keep telling someone I know who can't "help" himself from cheating in his relationships, "Walk away. And while you're at it, get a self-esteem."

Gigi

hello Delish - Good for you! Some people don't get beyond the concept of planning the wedding or they jump in because they feel like "it's time to get married" --and so they don't realize there's a matter of waking up beside the same person everyday for the rest of their lives. It's not as easy as it appears.

hi Bing - What's interesting is among the folks I know who are straying from their marriages, about 3 out of 5 are women. Anyway I don't like to judge why people do the things they do; all I know is when it comes to this sort of thing, it never ends up pretty -- no matter how justified they might feel at the time or whether or not they get "caught."

Hi Madmuse - People who are serial cheaters have way more problems than impulse control, and walking away (as well as self-esteem issues) can go both ways. For instance,I've "fallen" for one or two of the cheating kind in my life, and I always chose to walk away despite how I might have felt about the person. It's just not worth it -- and it's always worst in the end when you're hurting and you have no one else to blame but yourself because you knew better.

Madmuse

You're right! It does go both ways, and here I was only talking about the prospective cheater walking away from temptation.

I agree, it's just not worth it, but I guess people like to learn the hard way.

trish

"the one that got away..." we sometimes have to stop and think about what that really means.

The reality may be that there were probably things about that situation that were wholly unacceptable but one has chosen not to see simply because the EGO is foremost.

Once it CLICKS that its not the "one that got away" that we ache for but vindication, validation, seeking acceptance from without instead of within, then we can let go.

Gigi

Hi Trish - There's a good point I haven't yet considered -- sometimes it's easier to identify a person as a source of loss or of what we don't/no longer have, rather than to look within. If I understand you correctly, that is.

trish

Hi GIGI!!! Yep! You understood correctly!

Gigi

Hi Trish - Yaay! You explained it clearly, but I just wanted to make sure my reception was just as good (nowadays, there's been a lot of static in my brain. Ai-ya, we need to catch up soon).

The comments to this entry are closed.

GAGA ABOUT

  • LISTEN: "Pluto" by Chamsom

    Boong-

    I don't have to understand Korean to love this song, although I think it's about a person who was in a rocky relationship that ended but still feels deeply for her former lover and is feeling lonely tonight. "You're like a little star that's far away from me and keeps disappearing." I suppose the title -- Pluto used to be known as the ninth planet from the sun but now isn't even considered one -- might provide a bit more context to the song's meaning. Spotify
  • IMMORTAL PERFUMES

    Immortalperfumes

    Immortal Perfumes is a Seattle-based micro-perfumery specializing in historically inspired, handmade perfumes. All perfume blends are original recipes made from a mix of jojoba, essential and fragrance oils. None of the oils used in this shop are derived from animals. Every bottle is handmade by JT Siems in her Seattle studio. I'm already in love with the fragrance inspired and named after Duchess Georgiana Cavendish. Notes: Black Tea, Lavender, Jasmine, Amber, Bergamot. Read her story here. #6mosnoshopping