MANILA BITES 3 - PARTY TIME

I attended a fundraising party a few days after arriving in Manila. It was probably not the best night for me to be crammed inside a small club lacking in ventilation yet overflowing in headcount, and exploding from the highest high of decibels. My two-month-old sinus infection had worsened from the 16-hour assault by airline cabin pressure and an instantaneous allergic reaction from mold (caused by the recent rains) and dust (there's always dust in the city). My head was throbbing in time to the pounding beat of the music (which was excellent, by the way -- go Overdrive!) and I was doing my best to stay completely still to keep from sweating any more than I already was. I wasn't exactly the poster child for revelry, you might say, although I wouldn't have missed the night for anything..

I had also forgotten what it was like to be completely sober amid masses of folks in various drunken states ranging from tipsy to inebriated to I'm-claiming-amnesia-tomorrow. I was having fun despite my body's best efforts to keep me from doing so, but I know I would have enjoyed myself much more if I had a little buzz going on. Actually, I don't know that for certain -- I don't drink, after all -- but everyone else sure looked like they didn't have a care in the world (well, except for our fundraising raison d'être of course).

We were there because a beloved friend is fighting an insidious and devastating disease, and sometimes the toughest battles are not won by determination alone. I'm not sure, but I've heard initial treatments alone will cost a million pesos and upwards. With "upwards" being the only sure thing in all this.

The event was a resounding success; a good time was had by all and, more importantly, the fundraising goal achieved. It looked like I wasn't having fun -- people kept asking me if I was OK -- but really, I was. Although at first the idea of why we were all there was sobering, I switched gears when my bestfriend Rosanna reminded me it was far more important to be there not to raise money, but to make the night the happiest one for our friend. Thus my spirit was carousing with the best of them, even if it felt like I had a herd of elephants breakdancing on my head. At least the pachyderms were enjoying themselves, too.

There was a surreal moment, for me at least, when I realized most of the people in the room were the same folks I used to see in the old party scene. I've been gone so long that the faces looked somewhat familiar although not completely recognizable -- and I certainly couldn't place their names. But Rosanna helped me out by (discreetly) matching names to faces plus providing a bit of updated history.

It didn't take too long for me to realize there is some form of justice in the world. I remembered the popular kids who once ruled their campuses and social scenes -- the ones I was slightly intimidated by, the ones whose social circles were prohibitively exclusive and touched only other similarly blessed circles. I saw the cute and cocky boys who bothered to speak to only the prettiest girls now humbled by age and time -- blinding-bright hairless spots on their heads, slightly wrinkled and dull skin, and even hints of pot bellies. And although the women seemed to have aged better, their natural freshness had somewhat faded, with their looks now maintained through long, tedious hours at the gym, spa, and doctor's (dermatologist and perhaps even plastic surgeon) office.

A group of men from my old college sat in the corner evaluating how the women looked now compared to before, utilizing a much-practiced and honed rating system. The delicious irony was that they, too, were unaware they were subjects of other like efforts by the women in the room -- only not as obvious and without group effort, but with just as much brutal honesty.

I whispered to Rosanna, "Yikes, it's like one of our high school parties in here -- but the guys are now kalbo (bald)." A pause. "If only I had a glimpse of the future back then, I wouldn't have been so intimidated by some of these people."

And like the teenage parties I used to attend regularly, the music was smoking, the energy was positively electric and buzzing with excitement, people were either dancing on the floor or at least tapping to the beat, and alcohol was flowing. It was like we were all young again -- but this time, the field was decidedly more level (with hard-won achievement now prized more than natural pulchritude) and the partying more purposeful.

Towards the end of the evening it occurred to me that just like before, I wasn't the prettiest, sexiest, smartest, most popular or accomplished person in the pack but -- unlike my angst-wracked and insecurity-filled youthful years -- it didn't matter the slightest bit. I couldn't be bothered with what rating I might have received from the self-appointed judging panel -- or even if I was deemed significant enough to be evaluated. All that seemed to matter is that all of us here had fought through life's countless trials, struggles, and tribulations and survived (or at least were still doing our damn best to) and we had certainly earned the right to forget all about them for just one night.

Especially my friend. I truly hope she had the time of her life -- and many more times like that to come. Party on.

Comments

[dexie]

sounds like you're having a wonderful time. i'm glad :)

[Jojie]

You have just put into words exactly how I felt at our high school reunion last December. I was among the ones who stood out. Living the good life is the sweetest revenge indeed.

[sistah #1]

reminds me of the time i went home for my 25th high school reunion... the "popular" girls (who were now dressed in matronly garb) were rendered speechless when one of the math geeks (guess who) showed up in shorts and a tank top, sporting a tanned and trim physique, thanks to thousands of hours of running and healthy living, rather than thousands of pesos of cosmetic surgery.
i wonder if they all decided to hit the gym once the reunion was over... and maybe even pay a visit to dr. belo for a little nip-and-tuck...

[Gigi]

Hi Dexie - The only thing that could have made those nine days more perfect is if my husband and cat went home with me. :)

Hello Jojie - Good for you!

Hi Sistah - And fortunately for those who decided to go that route, the doctor is a classmate. :)

[Chiqui]

I didn't notice the club lacking ventilation but one thing's for sure: this no-smoking policy in Makati is heaven. During the pre-ordinance days, you would've entered and exited that club in a second. Yes, it's funny to think how people have either been ravaged by time or the opposite and you imagine what they might have gone through to get there-- bad marriages, great jobs, etc. But the main thing was M had the time of her life. Of course she was up later than she should've been (she even had breakfast after at the Swiss Inn) but she was just so overwhelmed. Her brother explained to their father the next day: "Dad, 80% of the people who were there have been in our house at some point - whether in Manila, Tagaytay or NY". In other words, they were all part of her past/present. It was truly a night of friendship.

[Gigi]

Hi Chiqs - M was glowing that night, I thought she looked absolutely beautiful. It's just the way I want to remember her -- until I see her next year. What a gift to receive, a once-in-a-lifetime "It's A Wonderful Life" chance to see almost everyone who loves you in one room, who are there not just for friendship's sake but because they are simply needed.

Frankly, I haven't had more than a 10-minute conversation with M since we graduated from HS -- even if I'd bumped into her once in LA when she lived there briefly (at a Red Ribbon, of all places!), and a couple of times at her old store when I was in town. So, yes, we're not particularly close friends (in fact I might be part of the 20% who has never been in one of her homes -- unless we had a class night or party there I've long forgotten about). But that doesn't matter: somehow she's stayed in my heart all these years and I've always cared about whatever happened to her. Now more than ever.

[Yey]

How's Rosanna doing now? You know, I still haven't responded to her email. Would you mind sending her email address again, please?

It shows true heart to beat the claustrophobia, heat, and uncooperative sinuses for a friend. Reminds me of another time... But I'm sure glad you had fun.

[KnOizKi]

Hi Gigi, seems like you're enjoying despite of the odd scenes - referring to the beauty of bald age.

Enjoy the rest of your hoooooli-days!

[Gigi]

Hi Yey - I'll email you Rosanna's address; she'd love to hear from you. And, as always, I had a grand ol' time with her over there. I'm now suffering from withdrawal symptoms, I'm afraid. :(

[Gigi]

Hi KnOizKi - Absolutely nothing wrong with baldness -- in fact, lots of men nowadays choose to just buzz it all off, yeah? It's the ultimate in low maintenance (plus imagine all the savings from not having to buy shampoo and hair products!), and looks hip too. How brilliant is that?