MANILA BITES 2 - MORE EX FILES

I had lunch with an ex last week. He's the ex my family wishes I never broke up with -- although they are always quick to add they love Arnel, at least much much more than they cared for my ex-husband.

The ex's wife, however, has no clue -- unlike my husband, who does. Although we've never met, she's not thrilled about the concept of her husband and I remaining friends (actually, she probably has no idea this has always been the case). He was her first boyfriend, but I was his first -- you get the story. Like the ex says, it's because I got there before she did. My name is synonymous with the Boogeyman in their happy abode: my name comes up and dagger looks are hurled at my ex, not only by his wife but also his daughters. I probably should be flattered, but frankly I'm flabbergasted.

Each time I see him, I ask if she's ready to meet me; so far, the answer has been NO. Perhaps before we turn 50, I ask? Yes, he seems to think. But not quite yet.

So going back to my story. J and I met up for a little over an hour; he was in-between meetings. He looked fantastic (every year he looks better and better, I must say, to the point where he actually is in better shape than when he was half his age -- when I had a much clearer idea of what kind of shape he was really in.). Although he was dressed neatly, I could tell he was still no metrosexual. He never was into the latest men's fashions or designer/brand names, even if he could always afford to be -- but it was just never his thing. The only concession, it seems, he's made to displaying his position and wealth is the "simple" stainless steel Rolex watch he wears on his wrist. Knowing him, it was probably even a gift.

Of course, the first thing I asked was to see his family pictures. Not only because I've never seen his wife or children in person, but also because I figured it's the safest thing to do if someone were to spot us together. I mean, what could the potential snoop report to the wife?

Snoop: Hey, I saw your husband with his ex, Gigi.
Wife: Oh yeah? What were they doing?
Snoop: Looking at your picture.

It's difficult to catch up on another year's worth of stories in a little more than 60 minutes, but we made a valiant effort. Somewhere in the middle of stories, I asked him if women were trying to get their claws into him despite (or perhaps because of) his marital status. The truth is his surname makes him a fabulous catch, but that he's cute, funny, down-to-earth and still quite youthful-looking makes him an exceptional one. And I'm sure that's not merely my opinion.

He admitted this was the case, and I didn't ask him the logical follow-up question straight up, but in a sort of roundabout way: if he's ever been tempted or even succumbed to seduction. As he told me about a few womanly wiles he's come across, I said, "Ah, but I know you, I know you so well still."

To which he replied, with a mischievous glint in his eye, "You know me, huh? So you know what I'd do?" And it hit me, I suddenly wasn't too sure. So I answered instead, "I know you'd always try to do your best." He repeated my line, he said he liked it. Then I remembered: even back then, he'd always had an eye for the women, even if he was never a rogue. He's a good guy -- one of the true-blue ones left in the world -- but certainly not a saint.

As the minutes ticked away, we became more relaxed with each other and laughed even more. This was the J I've always known, I thought to myself. In a way so simple -- as far as his needs and wants were concerned, at least -- but still so very complex in another, less apparent, way. I wondered if he thought I was the same girl he once knew and loved.But I know I've changed so much since he and I were together, and so I suppose he must have, too. Still, there was much comfort with the familiarity between us -- the longtime friendship, trust, and especially our shared history.

When it came to parting ways, I said I'd walk him towards his car. "It's OK, you don't need to," he said, adding in a low whisper, "My guy's here."

"Guy?" I asked, "What guy?"
"My...bodyguard, " he replied in an even more hushed tone. "I hate it."

He pointed out his "guy", dressed in a short-sleeved barong, standing discreetly quite some distance away. J told me the bodyguard was seated somewhere nearby while we were having lunch. Will he report our meeting to your wife, I asked? He shook his head. If I make a move to strangle you, will he run over and drop me to the floor? No, he replied, but with a word, he'd run over and point a gun to my head.

I glanced over at the bodyguard and studied him from head to toe. "You can take him, you know," I said. To which J heartily agreed. And after a quick kiss on each cheek, he ran off, with his "guy" trailing about 20 feet behind him. And you know, he looked like he was running away from his bodyguard (I bet he was).

Yep, J's still the same guy I always knew -- the same guy who wanted to be a teacher or guidance counselor for years, with a side gig playing the guitar at Shakey's (as they did -- or maybe still do -- in Manila branches). He may run one or two companies now (I don't ever ask him about these things), and maybe even more in the near future. But I know in his mind, what counts is that he truly loves his family as well as his job. Something many of us would be simply content with. As he is.

Comments

[sarah]

i have to laugh at the possible snoop scenario. hehe. =)

glad you're back home safe!

[Gigi]

Hi Sarah - Thanks! Part of me is glad to be back (the part that hates the heat and high humidity, and doesn't like to be constantly bathed in sweat). The other part -- the one that misses family and friends and loves all the great food -- is a bit sad. I really should spend more time next time I visit -- I think nine days just isn't enough time to fully acclimatize.

[cathy]

Ay how sad...I thought you were busy packing in your blog absence, yun pala andito ka! Next time when you're here, you should inform your blog friends earlier so we could organize a meet and greet!
Anyhoo, it's great that you're still friendly with an ex. That's always a great sign. As for the insecure wife, don't push it. Maybe she's not afraid of your ghost, but of his reaction to it!

[Linnor]

Your hubs is very cool for allowing you to meet up with an ex. Mine wouldn't if he could help it. Hehe.

So what makes up the loot you got from the Philippines? :)

[Gigi]

Hi Cathy - Oo nga eh! Sayang, I missed out on meeting you and --ehem -- your beauhunk (and, yes, he IS a cutie!). I can already imagine a conversation with you, Nikki, and some of the other fearless female bloggers around -- man, I bet I'd be confessing stuff I wouldn't dare write about!

As far as meeting the wife...I suppose I want to because I truly believe that if/when we do, she'll realize whatever fears or apprehensions she had were completely unfounded. Mabait naman ako -- medyo loka-loka at sira pero hindi nagnanakaw ng asawa. :)

Hi Linnor - The hubs is cool. :) He sees things this way: he says he chooses to trust me, but if I mess up, he's out the door. Fair enough; I've been warned.

Let's see, this year's loot was pretty small but I'm happy. A few (and I mean FEW talaga) bags and shoes, a few pieces of "jewelry" (love that Firma!), a couple of skirts, and LOTS of food! We'll have cheese rolls and ensaymadas coming out of our ears soon. You open our fridge and all you see now are boxes from Mary Grace, QuickMelt, and --of course -- my favorite, Bizu. I wanted to bring back a small chocolate cake from Kookie Korner but still haven't been able to figure out how to pack it (I mull over this every year, trust me).

Anyway, as always, my shopping mantra was Buy Filipino. Our driver told my mom I brought back the Philippines with me; I'd like to think he's right. :)

[Yey]

Welcome back, Gi! Glad you're safe. Missed you at the reunion. Call me so I can make you kuwento and ask you all the questions that I'm not sure should be posted here. Ha!

[Paul]

I've never really understood what makes a married man attractive to some women, in the same way that I don't get why a boyish looking man is so enticing to older women.

[Gigi]

Hi Yey! I'll call you today (Friday the 26th). Or call me. I'm home working.

Hello Paul -

RE: married men being attractive. First reason is an ironic one. Women are attracted to men who will commit -- although this often means they are already committed. Second is because we always want what we can't have, and sometimes the challenge is exciting. Third is because there are women who want a man -- especially if he promises financial benefits and without having to fulfill any of the responsibilities associated with being married to him).

RE: attractive boyish men. Men hit their sexual peak at 18, women in their 30s (or say they say). 'Nuff said. :)

[Yey]

Is it Friday yet? Anyway, I was busy in meetings for most of the afternoon and evening. Akala ko, I'm on vacation?

Please make sure to come to FPAC this year, ok? It's on Sep 10-11 at Point Fermin Park in San Pedro. I'll be staying in the area the whole weekend, beginning on Friday. We're reviving the Culinary Arts Corner, and so far the planning process is successful if you don't count the financial constraints. I'm sure we'll make it, but a lot depends on a lot. I'm still looking for contestants for the adobo cooking contest. Plus, we're adding a balut eating contest. Are you going to join?

[Gigi]

Hi Yey - Yummy - balut! And you know I mean that most sincerely. Still, I don't want to be seen (or worse, photographed) stuffing one after another into my mouth. And think of my cholesterol count after! But I'll happily bring home any uneaten/uncracked leftovers. :) And are the FPAC folks providing the ingredients for the adobo contest?