I still carry a Philippine passport and have had it extended twice in Los Angeles since I moved to the US. It's expiring in February 2006, and I thought it would be easier to get it extended while I'm here in Manila instead of dealing with the Consulate folks when I get back.
So the first thing on my agenda was to get my passport photo taken. I had never thought of it as a big deal, at least as far back as I can remember. All I ever needed to do was apply a bit of makeup and look fairly well-groomed. But I was recently informed that now I need to wear a top with a collar and make sure my ears can be clearly seen in the photograph.
The first requirement wasn't too difficult -- although I packed mostly tees, I had a couple of knit collared polos in my suitcase. I thought the second one would be no problem but I was severely mistaken. Although folks with large ears tend to be self-conscious (a result of nearly a lifetime of being taunted with Dumbo jokes, I presume), no one ever talks about the woes of being born with too-small ears.
I have very small ears that seem to be fastened flat against the sides of my head. I think complaining about this is the nearest thing (for me) to get a sense of what it's like to be naturally skinny and not be able to gain weight no matter what -- NO ONE sympathizes with your problem because they don't think you have any. What's worse is that folks tend to think you're annoying (or downright obnoxious) for even mentioning it. But really, my ears are so small I can't even use headsets that attach by wrapping around my earlobes -- they just don't stay put and fall off with the slightest movement I make.
Compounding my anatomical problem is that I have a round face with wide cheekbones and thick wavy hair: my ears just disappear from view completely. So last week I was at the one-hour photo lab trying to get a picture that fulfilled all passport requirements and soon lost my patience with endless reshoots. I kept trying to tuck my hair around my ears and quickly discovered it was just too thick to stay in place. So I ran over to the nearest hair salon and asked a stylist to do whatever he needed to appease the passport photo gods.
What I got was a fake mullet. My hair was slightly poufed up on top and -- worse -- slanted towards the right. All my hair on the sides was pinned tightly so as to lay completely flat against my head, and the unpinned parts above just sat above it like an extended roof. When I got back to the photo place, I couldn't even smile -- I was aware of how ridiculous I looked. Worse, I still couldn't see my ears. And as expected, after a few shots were taken and I finally steeled myself to look at the chosen photo, nothing could have prepared me for the shock.
"Please don't tell me I really look like this," I said to my sisters. "Because if I do, just kill me right now."
I was a sight even my own mother could not love. She didn't just beg me to take yet another reshoot -- she practically demanded I do so. The only thing that gave me some comfort was that she and my sisters agreed I don't look as quite as hideous in person.
I really didn't want to deal with the hassle of trying to look photogenic; after all, it's just a bloody passport photograph. "Only a couple of airport officials will get to see my horrific picture every year," I argued with my mom. "It's not like I have to please them, you know."
So the next day I marched to the Department of Foreign Affairs to submit my forms. I was told to present everything to the "guy at the table" so he could attach my photographs to the forms and have me take imprints of my thumbs. I swear to God, he snickered when he saw my picture.
I was then told to go back to the guard standing by the line of folks waiting to get their passports extended. And then back to another table, and then to another guard. As I was sitting in line, mulling over the prospect of having to go to yet another table, and then queue up in front of another building, I decided to take my chances with the Philippine Consulate in Los Angeles instead (which I'm not looking forward to, I can assure you). With only nine days in Manila, I didn't want to waste one of them in bureaucratic hell.
I'm still not sure why the DFA really needs to see both my ears (would they refuse me a passport if I had sliced one off in a moment of insanity a la Van Gogh?), but I'll go with the flow since I have no choice. If I absolutely have to, I'll even wear a headband; if that doesn't work, I'll push my ears forward using surgical tape. But this I know for sure: if the LA consul snickers at my photograph, I'm walking out again and will apply for US citizenship immediately. I've already checked: the folks at the US passport office don't care whether or not I have one or both ears, and they certainly don't care to see either.
Now that's music to my (apparently freakish) ears.
Hey lucky you! Got here in time for the magnificent weather!
Posted by: cathy | August 23, 2005 at 07:34 PM
Thanks for this post. It's the first time that I realized that having small ears can be a problem.
But I guess having Dumbo ears is just way worse than your problem. I even know of someone who had to resort to surgery to solve her Dumbo issues.
Posted by: kulotski | August 23, 2005 at 08:03 PM
i didn't even know that showing ears would be a requirement for a passport photo. hehehe. interesting.
Posted by: BatJay, Ang Elvis ng Quiapo | August 23, 2005 at 08:37 PM
Aha, so you're here! Do you have time to get together for lunch, dinner, breakfast, whatever? A snack at a conveniently-located vending machine?
What your relatives apparently don't know is that you can get your passport updated over the phone. You just call 'em--the number's 737-1000--and they'll pick it up and deliver it back to you.
Posted by: Nikki | August 23, 2005 at 10:09 PM
Hi Cathy - Everyone kept telling me how wonderful the weather was (because it was no longer raining, but not as hot as summer was daw). Still, I kept sweating so much, I tried not to move in my attempt to keep cool. I have to apologize to the Filipino people -- I was an enemy in the current energy-saving movement GMA's been promoting lately. No aircon? No freakin' way!
Hello Kulotski - thanks for dropping by! BTW I have something in common with your wife (and it's not about both of us having such wonderful husbands either :) ). My sister took me on my first MRT ride a few years ago, and I LOVED it! No traffic -- and we got from Shangri La mall to Shoemart in practically no time at all. Now that's what I call speed shopping!
Hello BatJay! I don't remember reading that on the form. But the dude at the one-hour photo, as well as my sister (who's in HR and takes care of such matters apparently) swears it's a requirement.
Hi Nikki - Oh man, I'm now back here in CA! Honestly, I wanted to invite you and Dean out for something (yes, even a vending machine snack if that's all you guys had time for, given your current deadlines) -- but I didn't want to impose. So: if you're ever here, and/or when I go back next year in early September (or maybe even in January, if I manage to get that time off from work) -- let's meet up, OK? I'd LOVE to finally meet you guys in person.
PS: I wanted to use a service, but was told since I needed express service, I had to apply for my passport in person. Or was I misinformed? Drats.
Posted by: Gigi | August 24, 2005 at 01:14 AM
Hey Gigi, sad that you left so soon but nice to have to back (at my computer). Was happy to see you (twice!) Re: big ears... well. I WAS called Dumbo when I was 6. I wonder what they'd call big-eared kids nowadays... kids don't know Dumbo anymore. so, no problem with ID pics. Just that it's the one feature in my face I didn't want exposed! so I wouldn't look too stupid, I exposed only one ear for my last passport shot and that was good enough for them (ala Jasmine Trias - kulang nalang flower!).
Posted by: chiqui | August 24, 2005 at 02:14 AM
Where did you have your photos taken?
Posted by: Paul | August 24, 2005 at 03:16 AM
i believe criminals need to have their ears showing in mug shots :)
so what kind of trouble did you get yourself into while you were in manila???
Posted by: sistah #1 | August 24, 2005 at 04:23 PM
Hi Chiqs - What? one ear was good enough? See, it's probably best I decided to take my chances here after all.
Hello Paul - I had my passport pictures taken (and retaken) at the one-hour photo place in Magallanes Village (the one underneath Dencio's :) ).
Hi sistah - Me? trouble? I only get myself in messes I can't talk about in public. :)
Posted by: Gigi | August 24, 2005 at 08:58 PM
hmmmm, didn't know about showing the ears as requirement for passport pics...
Posted by: isay | August 24, 2005 at 09:55 PM
Hi Isay - Everyone here seems to be surprised about the two-ear requirement. I'm beginning to think it was a vicious rumor someone started that got passed on until lots of folks believed it. I didn't read anything about ears on the passport application anyway!
Posted by: Gigi | August 25, 2005 at 12:26 AM
Welcome back, Gi! Hey, I first had the photo ear experience when applying for my green card. I wonder if people have unique ears similar to thumbprints. Do you know? I never realized you had small ears... Guess I'll just have to look closely next time I see you. Gi, call me when you decide to go to PCGLA, ok? Sounds like you had a wonderful time in Manila, as expected. I'm happy for you! Me next, hopefully.
Posted by: Yey | August 25, 2005 at 12:58 AM
check this out:
according to some immigration law website:
PHOTOGRAPHS MUST SHOW THE ENTIRE FACE OF THE PERSON IN A 3/4 VIEW SHOWING THE RIGHT EAR AND LEFT EYE.
but according to another website:
"Green card style" photos with the head slightly turned to show the ear will no longer be accepted by Immigration. All photos for applications and forms must be in the standard passport style (full front view of head and shoulders). The old style photo will be accepted until 01 September 2004.
and as far as u.s. passport photo requirements go:
The applicant must face the camera directly, with both ears visible.
there you have it. maybe if you wear big earrings, you can simulate the appearance of ears :)
it's odd how since i DON'T have big hair nor small ears, i've never had to think about what's showing and what's not on my passport pictures. are you sure we're sisters???
Posted by: sistah #1 | August 25, 2005 at 06:20 PM
Hi Yey -- I haven't phoned because I haven't been able to mumble one coherent sentence (jet lag), but I think I'm OK now. If OK means waking up at 5 am starving. Yes -- I need help with the PCGLA thing!
Hi Sistah - I checked out US passport requirements and didn't see the two-ear rule. I still don't know if we're really sisters -- you and #2 had me traumatized early on in life by insisting I was adopted, remember? :)
Posted by: Gigi | August 26, 2005 at 08:22 AM
So now you don't have an excuse not to call. I'll wait for your call so we can talk more freely.
Posted by: Yey | August 27, 2005 at 12:45 AM
Will do -- although I'll be out and about this weekend (birthday on Sunday and I'll be busy dealing with heavy denial :) ).
Posted by: Gigi | August 27, 2005 at 07:06 AM