It might be sheer coincidence, but most of my friends have all-girl broods. Every time our families get together, the testosterone level in the room is so low, it's almost non-existent. The girls range from pre-school to almost-college age, and they flock together according to interests (toys, video games, and boys mainly). The high estrogen factor can be overwhelming and heady, even for us women but more so for the men. And when the girls fight among themselves, it's loud, hostile, relentless, even bordering on violent. This happens quite frequently and, always, the men are helpless; they have no idea how to referee a girlfight. They look at me, the third of four sisters with no brothers, with worried, beseeching looks: will we -- can we -- survive years of this?
I can't speak for my father, but if his nightly silence at the dining room table (picture him and my mom surrounded by four strong-willed girls who speak loud and lightning-fast) is any indication, he either endured or surrendered. But he was wise enough never to compete.
I often wonder how and why us four girls are as opposite as points of a compass -- and yet we were all born and raised in the same household, guided by the same set of parents, and educated in the same schools. People who know any one of us are often surprised when they meet the rest and find out we're not just related, but sisters.
For instance.
Joni is the late-bloomer who gets younger as she ages. When she hangs out with her two daughters (and yes, she "hangs out"), she looks like their oldest sister. The family geek, she may have the highest IQ among us, and is probably even right and left-brained. Mom used to have to push her to get out of the house but now she runs marathons all over the world, is an avid skier, sails and scuba dives, and basically jumps at every opportunity for experience and adventure. Twenty years ago, the best part of her days consisted of watching her favorite soap operas, going to the mall, and renting the latest film at the local Blockbuster. But everything I knew about her is no longer true (and she becomes less familiar each year) -- and all she can do is merely shrug me off when I confront her, "Who are you and what have you done to my sister?"
Suzy has never completed a sit-up or push-up in her life, eats junk (when she eats, that is), hates vegetables, and wears a size 2 during her fat days. She's the tallest among us, inherited my mother's beautiful legs, and could be a hand model if she so desired. She's been smoking like a chimney since she was 14, can outdrink a redneck -- but she's in perfect health. On the surface she floats like a social butterfly -- but she stings like a bee (no, make that a wasp) when crossed or wronged. Strangest thing about her is that although for years her reading material consisted mainly of fashion magazines and beach reads such as "Mills & Boon" and "Barbara Cartland," she manages to stun me with Buddha-wise advice whenever I least expect it.
Tina was born a year after me, but looks a generation younger. She's always been the smallest and frailest of the bunch, therefore bringing out all our protective instincts towards her. But she really needs no protection -- she can fend for herself quite well, thank you. She's the only one with a Master's degree (which she paid for on her own by working full-time, despite my father's insistence to finance her education) and manages to live by herself within the tight limits of her modest salary. She's also a model Catholic, and nothing upsets her more than someone causing her to be even a few minutes late to Mass. Her only requirements for a future husband is that he works hard and goes to Church. "Non-smoker" used to be on her list, until she sadly realized she'd have to leave the Philippines to find the right guy unless she moved it to her wish list instead. She doesn't like to wear makeup and she won't wear anything uncomfortable (thus no stilettos and tight clothes in her closet). And oh -- she doesn't like to shop (freak!).
As you can imagine, we fought like cats and dogs when we were growing up. OK, no one ever really fought with Joni because it wasn't fun: the most you'd get out of her was silence and her usual (at least in the past) stoic glance. But I've punched Suzy, and Tina has kicked me off her so hard I flew across the room and nearly broke my back on my parent's TV (this was back in the day when television sets were so big they dominated nearly an entire wall). And yes, there were lots and lots of shouting and yelling. And banging doors. And angry stampedes up and down the stairs. Name-calling. Cold shoulders. Stink eye and tattle-telling.
I used to think we'd end up killing each other, but now I simply cannot live without my sisters. We may be separated by distance, busy schedules, and insufficient vacation time -- but a quick phone call is always enough to bridge the gap. When we're all together (which sadly has occurred only twice in the last decade), there's that familiar and assuring comfort of being able to communicate with a look, and of laughing at the same things (usually at my poor mother). We can't wear each other's clothes and shoes -- because we all have different physiques and sizes -- but we clearly share the same skin. And if Joni's the smartest, Suzy the sexiest, and Tina the most educated -- there's no envy or competition; it is what it is, and we're happy for each other. We can still rub each other the wrong way, no doubt, but annoyance quickly gives way to acceptance, and then all is forgiven. We always watch out for each other, even if it appears we're not looking, and we don't ever have to watch our own backs when we're together.
I used to pray God would give me a brother. But as always, he knew better and instead gave me something more than I could ever hope for. He gave me my sisters.
awwwww! that's so sweet! talking about your sisses make me smile. got 4 sisses and 2 bros.
iba talaga bonding pag sa mga sisses. however, similar mga looks namin, halatang magkakapatid kami. the most fun part about having sisses too is yung tipong magkatinginan lang kayo, nagkakaintindihan na. ah basta! i love my siblings kahit we fight from time to time, hehe! ;)
Posted by: barenaked | January 30, 2005 at 09:38 AM
hey, i thought i was the sexiest :( don't i get credit for being a size 2 on my thin days and having the legs (even if they are shorter than suzy's and bear surgical scars from running and skiing mishaps)? i suppose when you think about it, "smartest" ain't bad...
by the way, you never said what YOU were the best at. if i were to hazard a guess, i would say most creative...
Posted by: sistah #1 | January 30, 2005 at 06:41 PM
The thing about being all girl kids (I'm one of three) in the family is that you also appreciate your dad more. Imagine the patient and pure love this man must possess to be able to smile benevolently through all the PMS. Sisters rule!
Posted by: thebee | January 30, 2005 at 07:21 PM
Hey.. I briefly worked out at the gym in my office building last year. I can easily complete a set of stomach crunches .. as long as its not more than 5 crunches per set ;) I've also started to enjoy salads but given the choice, I'd still choose potato chips over veggies
I agree with Joni. You are certainly the creative one of the brood
Posted by: suzy | January 30, 2005 at 07:51 PM
Barenaked - I LIKE that name!
Joni - Geez, I was hoping you'd say I was the prettiest. But I guess we all think we're that in the family. :)
thebee - For years my dad picked out and bought all my clothes, shoes, and makeup (because he traveled so much, and I'd give him a long list of things to get for me). Now THAT'S love!
Suzy - I guess potatoes are veggies anyway? (Quick Joni -- aren't they?) And are you sure I'm NOT the prettiest of us all? :)
Posted by: Gigi | January 30, 2005 at 10:43 PM
You were the cutest kid... especially when compared to me :( I was thin, dark and angular while you were the cutie pie.
To this day, you are still the fairest of us all with the best eyes... and yes, although we are all pretty good looking, you must have an edge over us in this department
Posted by: Suzy | January 30, 2005 at 11:30 PM
Aww shucks..see, this is why I love my sistahs! Because you put up with me when I'm makulit. :)
PS: I remember a long time ago, when Wally (whom I know is your favorite among my exes, as well as Tina's -- hehe) was telling me why he loved me so much. "It's your mind, I love your mind, " he kept saying. I looked at him without smiling (parang pikon pa), "Why can't you just say I'm HOT! What's wrong with saying I'm sexy? Why can't you say you love me for my body?" Kaya pala ex -- if he loved me more, he would have just lied (just like you did now).
Posted by: Gigi | January 31, 2005 at 01:03 AM
yes, without a doubt, you ARE the prettiest!
now where's my birthday gift???
Posted by: sistah #1 | January 31, 2005 at 10:14 AM
thank you, ate--my favorite sis-tah. :-D
i agree with the rest of the sis-tahs that you are the most creative..u used to paint, and now you landscape your own garden (you must have gotten dads artistic genes..and didnt leave any for me)
Posted by: sistah#4 | February 01, 2005 at 01:20 AM
Joni,
What gift? You forfeited that when you accused me of over-primping!
Anyway, you were supposed to tell me what you want, since apparently I'm not creative enough to choose a gift you like.
Tina,
:)
Posted by: Gigi | February 01, 2005 at 12:54 PM
Hello there Gigi. Thank you for visiting my site. Isn't it nice to have sisters? All my children are girls, they used to fight a lot, now a bit, at times more, but still there is love in those fight. i see my daughters in you and ur sisters.
Posted by: Luchie | February 01, 2005 at 02:02 PM
Hi Luchie,
You write so highly and so fondly of your daughters, that I take that as an incredibly generous compliment. Thank you!
Posted by: Gigi | February 03, 2005 at 12:35 AM
great blog you got here! :D
Posted by: mell ditangco | February 04, 2005 at 12:08 PM
Thanks Mell!
Posted by: Gigi | February 04, 2005 at 04:33 PM