I got injured today. Ouch. I must have pulled a muscle on the upper right side of my body; it hurts a lot from my rib across to my back when I twist. Bummer.
I was trying to put on my brave-soldier face all day, and not let Arnel know I was feeling sore. He suffers from chronic neck pain as a result of repeated sports injuries, but had to see a doctor to help him manage it this week. I didn’t want him to worry, so I didn’t say a thing. OK, so there's a little bit more to it than that, and not as noble of a reason too.
Over dinner tonight, he saw me grimace quite a few times and just had to ask the question.
Arnel: What’s wrong with you? You look like you’re in pain.
Me: Yeah, on my right side. Just hurts a little when I twist or move or breathe deeply.
Arnel: How’d do you get hurt?
Me: I don’t know.
Pause. Long stare. He knows I’m lying; I’m a hopelessly lousy liar.
Me: Well, I think I have an idea. (Pregnant pause as Arnel gives me that “please continue” look). I was getting a manicure and pedicure today... (I pause and sigh in exasperation as I see a deliciously evil smile curling on the sides of his mouth)...and I was sitting in the massage chair like this (I then demonstrate my mani/pedi pose -- feet soaking in jacuzzi bath and both arms stretched out to each side) while I slept. They asked me to pay before they painted my nails. And I was groggy...
I really did not want to continue my story, but I knew I wasn’t getting out of it. This was just too good for Arnel to drop.
Me: So I twisted my body towards my left and back to grab my purse behind me. And I forgot how heavy it was, so I must have pulled a muscle while I struggled to keep my balance.
I waited for him to rip into me. He teases me enough about my grooming-related expenses. But now that I’ve actually been injured as a result of my vanity, he’ll never let me hear the end of it. Amazingly, the teasing never came; he started talking about something else! I was so grateful, I was actually extra sweet to him for the rest of the night.
Until. We were watching “Law and Order” while lying in bed, backs propped up high on pillows. I needed to go to the bathroom, and quite awkwardly tried to get up and onto my feet; I was struggling to find a way to do so without feeling any more discomfort. Arnel glanced over to his left and looked at me wriggling my way about with very little success.
Arnel: Honey, next time remember to do your stretching exercises first before getting a manicure, OK? You might hurt yourself. (pah rum pum). Maybe also before you get your hair blowdried; you just never know.
I knew it. There was no way he was going to let me off the hook. I wanted to hit him but it hurt too much. It also hurt when I tried to laugh.
I don’t mean just my right side hurt to do both -- it's my ego that’s been wounded. It hurts way too much right now, I can’t stand it. I can’t even enjoy the quiet dignity of suffering from an injury caused by vigorous exercise or physical labor. And worse, you just know you’re getting old when you can get hurt doing the most inconsequential things (like trying to pay the nail technician).
So tomorrow, if my side’s still sore and someone notices, I know what I need to do. I’ll have to flat out lie: better that my soul be stained than my ego pained, right? Or I can reply with a surreptitious glance at Arnel followed with a naughty knowing smile. At least that’s a lie both of us can live with.
Now excuse me while I pluck a couple of Motrins downstairs. Yes, using my shiny, freshly varnished nails. You know what they say: beauty hurts.
you'll probably hate me for agreeing with arnel, but if you usually spend 50% of your waking hours in pursuit of fashion and grooming, the odds are that you're bound to get injured sometime, somehow while getting polished, coiffed, waxed, colored, massaged, perfumed, or clothed...
i guess i can forget ever being able to collect on my birthday gift, huh?
Posted by: sistah #1 | January 23, 2005 at 10:10 PM
50%??? (!!!) Akkkk -- no gift for you!
PS: you wear more makeup than I do! Does that mean you're going to poke your eyes with a mascara wand one day?
Posted by: Gigi | January 23, 2005 at 10:38 PM
yes, i'm sure at least one of my eye infections or corneal abrasions was due to mascara and/or eyeliner... see? if you do something often enough, you're bound to get injured doing it :)
Posted by: sistah #1 | January 23, 2005 at 10:55 PM
Hi. Checked your site through punoyblog.com. Lovely!...and the writing is fun too. I love make up (and also David Sedaris) and so had to take down notes of your choices. TC!
Posted by: ajay | January 24, 2005 at 12:50 AM
Ajay,
Thanks for stopping by! I love your blog btw (your latest post got me really hungry -- and I'm not even vegetarian). :) I'll swap makeup tips with you anytime, though not here and now because my ate (sistah#1) already thinks I spend half my life primping and grooming or thinking about it. Ingat. :)
Posted by: Gigi | January 24, 2005 at 01:20 AM
i couldn't help laughing while reading this one, gigi. *stifling giggle*
oh, i'm imagining divine retribution on my eldest sister. *evil laugh*
Posted by: sarah | January 26, 2005 at 12:56 AM